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Spirit Joules

by Gordon Tebo

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1.
There is a darkness I believe in That glitters when the morning comes along Returns to me like messianic voodoo Whenever I underestimate the song There is a darkness I believe in There is a darkness I believe in There is a darkness I believe in There is a darkness I believe in When all the words are deceiving There is a darkness I believe in That is the source of all light
2.
I’m a man of few words Who talks too much I start the day I think I’ve said enough I try to keep my mouth From going out running I break my stride Just sitting here doing something else If I’m really here You’re a funny feeling In the back of my mind I can’t quite find The time to spend When the river bends You won’t see it coming When the feeling ends You’ll be onto something else If you’re really there If we’re really anywhere
3.
Awareness is affection And everything Else is aggression No such thing as confession For anyone But your reflection Creation is continuance And everything Else is conspicuous Turn on your constituents A little bit Turn on existence We go round… Mindlessness is discipline Comparison Loss of innocence Breakdown of our consciousness A little step Back towards equivalence Circumstance is solid ground We are unwound Spinning in our sleep Reconvening rendezvous A time to choose On an Orrery- go-round Let’s go round… Who knew before you?
4.
I’ve been crossing this bridge for years And every day another section disappears And nothing’s holding me up no more Yet I keep walking Nihilism is a vacuumed rug In the room you’re thinking of Yet somehow I keep finding dust So I keep walking It’s in my bones and in my breath That i think I’m escaping death By making more of what I have As I keep walking I’ve outgrown all of my clothes They no longer seem to keep me whole And now it’s me coming apart at the seams Yet I keep walking And I don’t think that I can stop Even when the ceiling drops And all my fears were my worst bets I guess it’s good to live life with a couple regrets Good to live life with a couple regrets Keeps the fire burning while you take each step Keeps the fire burning while you take each step Never turn around never give up on me ‘Cause just a little love is all I need to keep going Take another look, St. John the Divine I’ve come to inspect the shape of time ‘Cause time is a just the shadow we see As we keep walking
5.
Every day Wake up, sweaty haze Wake up, same old dream Tornado, every scene Old schools I used to haunt Blank cities, nascent dawn Nonchalance divine for me Nonchalance divine for me Every day Get up, turn the coffee on Try not to turn the tv on Find silence, the threat of peace Make way with liability A little prayer for the sullen sea Nonchalance divine for me Nonchalance divine for me You know I really have a long road The river Separates the soul The real me Is on the other side Peering Through the leaves and vines Will it come to me? If I let it be Will it come to me? Every day
6.
Mitosis 08:18
7.
Hallelujah 03:59
Find a threshold to cross Every single day Helps the spirit to help the soul to Find its lonesome way We all belong to some faith Whichever form it takes That both invented pain and Exists to let it stay And I heard you listening And I felt this deep thing And I kept on moving Something was moving me! …Hallelujah Well, I resurrected that fight Like a hungover Christ I went through my life Like a poorly planned heist I can forgive myself But it’s gonna take some time As all my cells renew And consequence subdues And I’ve got all new blood …Hallelujah!
8.
Some Say 03:50
Some say that paying the ultimate price is dying I say loving without holding back is equally trying You gotta live a bit Without losing it Good luck with that Good luck with that You say a thing of beauty is a joy forever I say the only beautiful thing is surrender You gotta give a bit Without losing it Good luck with that Good luck with that Some say experience is the mother of wisdom I say mother may I but she just won’t listen You gotta grow a bit Without giving in Good luck with that Good luck with that Some say Some people say
9.
Stay Home 01:49
Stay home with me
10.
Don’t pray for me I don’t need a way Save me from believing things Those roads run north Then they tend to fade They fade, always How are the birds This time of year? “They sing, always” Don’t sing for me I don’t need it now These trees please me

credits

released November 21, 2020

Recorded in the Map Room

Tracks 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, and 10 mixed by Phil Manley

Mastered by Sarah Register

Jim Brantley played guitar on Nonchalance Divine

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Gordon Tebo Chicago, Illinois

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